Life of Ms Leanne Hall the single mom

Wow way to long since I have written

2011-10-12T00:13:00.001-07:00

Wow it has been forever since I have written on this blog. Can you let me know if you read this by making a comment. Ok so what is new allot it has been one heck of a year. We went from riches to Rags. but I will admit me and my boys feel closer then ever. I survived death again. yep no joke it was so serious the kids God parents moved into my home to take care of my boys. But again God had other plans. This summer Isaiah broke his back in 3 places but he is able to walk and is slowly getting better. My boys dad Has cancer which has been hard on my boys. I am not working write now. but I know why I think it is so I am home for my boys. meanwhile God just keeps providing for us. God is good.

A long long time

2011-03-12T02:42:00.000-08:00

Been forever since I have written so here it goes. so what has happened in my life this year. Hmm Well had someone burn my house to the ground walked away with the cloths on my back. Then was sick in hospital for over a month. and then bed ridden for 5. I returned to work with a raise. and now building my life over again. Been praying about changing my name I have heard many times in my prayers Jesus Call me Elizabeth. so thinking I might just do it.

been a while wow

2010-11-30T01:52:00.000-08:00

Ok so have not written in a while so what has been going on in Leannes life. well it has including me been in the hospital for over a month and having a kidney go into renal failure me again not suppose to have lived through it and now I have a object in my kidney that makes it work. but now the item has expired so needs to come out I have to live on antibiotics which is hard on the imune system and hard on the body. I went in the hospital and came out 28 lbs less. being skinny is one thing but being a toothpick is another story. not working write now as I am not alloud to living completley on faith. it is so hard but all we can do is trust God. oh and I live in the wilderness now. we have a 6 bedroom house on a beautiful mountain and we heat our home with wood burning stoves. and we will be soon not needing hydro as we will be on solor power. we have dirt bikes and are surounded by mountains cougars bears and deer it is awesome we have a Dog that is a trained bear hunter and has killed 3 bears in his life. and we have another boxer being trained on hunting and protection and then we have our little chiuiua as bate lol. no just to look cute
my boys and I love living in the wilderness it gives us a sence of adventure

ah ha

2010-08-14T23:59:00.000-07:00

Good times good times. well Jeremy is living with us again. and with in less then 24 hrs of him being here he got a job. sweet that is awesome. it is like having the family but all in BC instead of stoon. we have jerek and caroline living in Vancouver Jeremy living in Jeffs basement sweet at the house here and it was a blast rocking out as the original crew of psalm 91 again. it was so strange it was like we never stopped playing together. so cool. We were on the radio also yesturday so that was totally cool also. yahoo good times good times

Something I have for years been frustrated with.

2010-06-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

Ok have you ever been one of those people that you have someone that you help support financially and while you do that they are your friends. but when you decide it is time to stop and move the support somewhere else. that then all of a sudden apparently you are nothing. to the point you even confront them on it never hear back but the moment you make a gesture you have something for them. they all of a sudden are in your life again. hmmm things that make you think.

Feeling loved by true friends.

2010-05-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

I have realized it is rare to have friends that are honest and real and true. Who stand with you through the rough times and the good times. I also realized people I thought were friends were not. it is amazing how many people fill a room when things go well and how many people leave when shit hits the fan. Or how people will just walk away with no explination and then there are those that come and rap there arms around you no matter what. I am thankful for my true friends and Glad I have them by my side.

He he LIfe begins now

2010-05-18T23:55:00.000-07:00

I sat there and stared at the house that once was lived in

I sit here and look at this burnt empty shell

I thought of dwelling on the past.

But why when the future seems so much better

Burn Burn baby fall to the ground

Lets leave this night mare far behind

breath breath a new breath in

sitting in the sun on a deck of mountain due.

new beginings here we come

as we watch this open door we walk in

we have been in a bloody battle

the scars will show we did not get to rattled

and the smiles from ear to ear show we one

so look down below under our feet

you will see the remains of a lion and snake

as we trampled on them and put them under our shoe

so we walk with our heads held high

but only because we have Jesus write by our side

Life is hard these days

2010-04-25T23:49:00.000-07:00

LIfe is hard a fire took everything from us. we walked out with only the cloths on our backs.

We have had some donations that have been a blessing. but we really need help we still have so much to get for the house. This whole fire we have gone through has put us into debt.

We are all hurting in our hearts. it pains me as a mom to watch nathaniel cry himself to sleep every night and it pains me to see isaiah be so angry at the world and everything

Leanne

Feeling like I am climbing the mountain again

2010-04-24T05:56:00.000-07:00

How life is like a hike or a rock climb. You look at it and asses the climb or the hike you know your destination but sometimes you slip and slide down. but you have the ropes hanging on. which is the Hand of Jesus. or if you are hiking you make a slip but those amazing hiking boots are like the grip of Jesus never letting go.

Then you get back up and you climb again. So in a short period of time I moved across the country I was divorced. Found out my ex who I waited for Got ingaged and moved on. I guess in some way I was hoping he would change come back and take his family back like a shining night. but that is ok God has another shining night out there. and then well had the house burn down loose everything that was dear to us our good pets and our music gear. Was robbed and striped of everything. But then Jesus comes around the corner and blesses us 10 fold. I thought the people who were responsible for burning it down would of been the ones who would of helped us out but was not the case but that is ok cause Jesus he did he stepped up to the plate and blessed us huge. Jesus is great and we are thankfull.

we have our gear back as a band amps amazing sound system ect trailer to tour my kids and I have a good counselor that is helping us make it through things at my job when I go back will be better then ever

The adventures of our lives

2010-04-23T02:27:00.000-07:00

Well for those that read this blog here is a update.. We are all moved into our new house. We are slowly but surely getting our lives back together. We still need amps but we were given a sound system. Life is always a adventure for us. Some days we have tears fill our eyes as we think about the loss we went through. Other days we are pulling through.

One thing I am glad about is we are able to sit and share our feelings with each other. Years ago we took Life skills communication where we learnt how to share our feelings and be able to feel heard. it has really helped our family open up. Many say my boys are really good at sharing there feelings. They usually can get write to the heart of the issue. I am so proud of them for this as it helps us check in with each other. So write now we have been meeting with Derek Usher to help us through this rough time and also Della Headly this kids meet with her and spend time getting at the heart of the issue. It has been a good exp.

One thing for sure it has really helped us be able to be aloud to feel the pain.

Some people think oh well know one died just the animals you should be over this by now. But what other do not understand is our pets were part of our family. and loosing them was a great loss. and then others say once there dead they are dead there is no after life for them well for those that think that you show me one place in the bible that says that cause I have never found it and I have researched it a ton. are we just ignorit to think they are souless beings. but yet in the world it says that if we do not worship God the way we need to that the rocks and the trees will hmm must say something. or how the donkey was given permission to speak it does not say he was given the words just he was given the write to open his mount and think. Then I think of the many times when we would sit and pray and worship and how all our pets would come running to the room where we were praying and worshiping and be write there and everytime we mentioned being washed trinity would go around washing other feets.

for my boys loosing there pets has been like loosing a sister or brother and Nathaniel has been greeving just like I did when my uncle died.

blessings

Leanne

A time to heal

2010-04-17T03:49:00.000-07:00

flame flame the house burns you took away all I knew to be home.

the pets I loved so dearly burnt to the ground they could of been rescued but the mind was blank no one picked up the phone other then the police to idenity the bodies of my children luckily they were not in the house. we barried our past and walk on forward to see GOd open doors we never thought would open we wait for the amps to plug the guitars in gigs are lined up but the band has to come together to work it to come to a place of being ready new songs are written new power is arison. I know here I have many friends that contact the add few it seems as though we left that province and only some still keep contact the doors I will not knock anymore the ones that do call and keep in contact will always be close and never forgotten I am not working one sided relationships anymore . so there that is where I stand

Does anyone read this blog anymore

2010-04-13T02:36:00.001-07:00

Hey does anyone read this blog anymore

UPdate

2010-04-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

I have had a interesting few weeks. one Watching God bring things we had back into our lives has been amazing. Our band was given a trailer and a sound system. which has blown me away. Our band has also hit a new level which is also sweet. The interest has arrised on people wanting to record us which is amazing and fun to be apart of and we are writting a heck load of music something about going through major tragity seems to do that. also got a letter from one of the biggest worship leaders I know and respect good old kevin prosch that was pretty awesome. So it will be neet to see where God will take us this year.

Leanne

This storm I need it to stop

2010-03-23T23:26:00.000-07:00

Many years ago I was given a word it was psalm 91 now I sit here and think I might want off this ride but yet I can get away from hiding under you wing.

burn burn the house goes down.

crash smash my kid get hit by a car'

I sit there and I grab onto your wing I say father father here my cry

father father hear my heart it beats and thumps and wonders why.

when will this roller coaster end.

I know I need you and can not be with out

but sometimes I feel alone and left to fend

I look to you and glad that everyone is still here

as he got up and walked away with just a bump on his leg

I thank you that he had not faded away.

To close the enemy I dont want you even under my feet

I want to close my eyes and wake up from this dream

and hide under your wing like a bug under the leaf.

set this family free and hide from this mess

Is God Good even in the midst of Hell

2010-03-10T00:55:00.000-08:00

Yes he is. My house has burnt down I lost everything and my pets are all gone. I for half an hour was led to believe my boys were dead and the fire department was looking for there bodies. I was on a ferry and stuck and could do nothing to stop what was happening. to my home and what I was lead to believe my children while I waited on the ferry to go to speak at a youth even on suffering I experienced one of the harshest sufferings I could ever imagine. So I had to return from the island with out even getting off the boat. as I phoned the pastor to say we were not coming do to my house burning up. i returned the call with this We are coming back and we will give them message and weather I am there or not GOd will deliver this message. What Satan intense for evil Jesus will turn to Good I asked him to share that with the youth group. Now keep in mind this is during the worst I mean worst thing I have every been through.

There I was sitting on the boat my good friend Brian West came with me he was driving me as I had busted my foot and he came to support me and then we were going to go visit his daughter and I was going to go visit my other good friend bruce. anyway I told brian that if I got a call saying they found my kids bodies I would of jumped off the boat and gave up. yes I am being real I have fought my life with my crazy disease to live for my kids what is the point if they are gone there was no point as far as I was concerned. But my boys were alive but where We did not know the cops were looking for them many friends were looking for them and thanks to a blessed neighbor they had my boys. they kept them safe.

So wow you must thinking loosing everything yes I lost everything and the horror of what I saw sketched nightmares in me that well had friends holding me through the night as I would cry such a harsh cry they held me to comfort me it is a horrible feeling that I had to even think my kids were dead. half an hour you think aint that bad well you are wrong it is murder. it is terrible. you imagine that. see how you would feel.

So here I am living in my friends basement living on air mattresses in a unfinished basement now ask me if I am happy um maybe not happy but honored to have such a good friend. and honored to watch community come together. and feel blessed and get to see just what Jesus will do

Leanne

Oh my goodness for real.

2010-02-07T01:16:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh I am excited about tomorrow We are leading worship in hope tomorrow and crazy so cool one of the leaders is part of city counsel and invited us to hang out and witness the torch coming through also. so kind of a significant day to be apart of leading worship.

Now aside from that I am frustrated. I keep trying to help my X out to get back in good with my boys. by letting him know the things my boys are sharing that have hurt them to help him maybe say sorry to them and resolve it with them. but this stupid pride keeps coming up instead. where he insist on can't they just get over it and forgive me already I said I was sorry a long time ago why are they bringing this up. I tried to explain because years ago they were so little they didn't feel resolve and it is coming up now. to me as a parent you say sorry no matter how many times. to me I will always here my kids pain and again say I love you and I am sorry for my mistake. it is important to be willing to drop to our knees for our children and show them we make mistakes also. and be willing to resolve

ok so there is my rant for today

Hmmm What to say

2010-01-31T02:14:00.001-08:00

Hmmm Has been my thoughts lately. I am glad I have good mentors in my life. on my last day of work for the week I was really having a hard time. might of been the fact I didn't sleep the night before. I had to fill out these forms for my kids counseling. and As I was writting there history and things they have gone through. It hit me real hard. Why did I stay in my marriage for 11 years. If I would of looked at it a while back my kids would not have to go through this pain they are going through write now. facing there pain. it is not fair the rejection they had to face and the years of being ignored. So I was driving home and the tears came down my face as I thought of all the things they had gone through. I picked up my phone and texted one of my mentors that has been in my life before I ever even had children or even was married. so if anyone knows me well it is my friend Brian. I texted him and said hey can we go for a walk and have a talk. The greatest thing was just before I texted him God told him I will open doors for you to walk out your call but you need to walk through. So when I texted him he said God is this that door. and GOd told him yes you need to go hang out with Leanne. So we went for a walk down by the river and I was able to say where I was and how I was feeling and I have to admit I actually struggled with a thought I have never faced before. and this Was it. GOd WHERE WERE YOU WHEN MY KIDS WENT THROUGH THIS AND WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP IT.

Then I shared the next thought that went through my head. WHY DIDN'T I SEE THESE THINGS AND STOP THEM WHY DID I STICK AROUND SO LONG. Heck I saw the things that were done to my kids. and just kept believing it would stop it would change. so stupid I said to brian. SO brian says to me Leanne all you can do is take what is yours to take and deal with it with your kids. tell them I am sorry I didn't do anything sooner then spend time with Jesus and see what he has to say about what the boys are going through.

So went home and sat with my boys had a great talk and they are so amazing. they told me mom you did what you could do. but mom you also heard our cry when we came to you and begged you to leave dad and sell the house and take us back to BC you listened to our hearts. Mom when we told you we were not in a place to see dad write now and need to get healing you got us the best counselor and you let dad know where we were at. What dad does from there is dad not you.

we forgive you mom. and we love you your the best.. My heart melted. they are these two little men. I find them amazing us adults will run from healing sometimes. or run from facing our pain and here are two boys that came to me and said mom we want counseling and we are ready to face out pain we want help.

they were seeing a counselor for a while but begged to stop as they were not ready but here they are ready and they are going after there hurt so proud so proud. I love my boys

A GREAT DAY

2010-01-22T23:06:00.000-08:00

Today is a day where one would say there was hope in the air. My oldest son is seeking the face of God for healing in his little life. I am so proud of him he is such a little man facing his fears. both boys are so amazing so proud of them.

Today we hiked up the mountain with my boys friends and built a fort. it was so sweet they showed me there lean to and then I brought a saw and some nails and a hammer and showed them how one can make a fort pretty much out of nothing. It was so fun watching there eyes as it slowly went up. They were wow that is awesome. then as we were coming back down the mountain I asked my son nathaniel so tell me do you have a hero and who is it. HE looks at me with a big smile and says Mom you are my hero.. I was really wow I did not expect that. How a kid can bring you into tears in two point two. God is good.

What is with us christians today.

2010-01-16T01:23:00.000-08:00

Ok For real one thing that has bothered me lately. Why is it that so many christians throw there morals and ethics a side. weather it is for a relationship or money or what. I am not quite sure. why that happens. I could not live with myself if I did that. I know so many christian that at one point in there life believed in waiting till they were married to have sex then all of a sudden that belief is out the window. Why what is with that. I could not be happy if I did that. For myself I would rather live single then break that way of thinking. How em I suppose to raise kids and teach that model if I didn't fallow it myself. I just entered the dating world and for real I have actually not even gone on a date with someone because they say they are a christian but believe in living with someone before they get married. and I have friends that are living with boyfriends and are christians for real people what are you thinking. it makes no sense to me.

Christians we really need to learn to stand on the rock.

What the heck em i suppose to do with this one

2010-01-05T23:21:00.000-08:00

Ok Ok I Just can not hold this one back. I got a call on new years eve. what is with my x picking dates that are kind of important in life to tell knews. and what em I suppose to say to this. I was asked not to say anything but I am sorry I just can not do that. why how is this for me not to say anything. I mean holy crap. I also was the one to let my kids know. So my x is getting married. smack. I figured I was over all this and ok with everything. But I realized after I heard that and when I woke up the next day with the craziest dream ever I guess inside I thought miracles could still happen.

So I had this dream and it shocked me as I just do not think this way. In my dream I had a gun and I was watching myself from the outside. and I shot myself while I watched from the outside I was yelling no no no what are you doing. Then wam I wake up in tears. I was what the heck is going on I never feel depressed like this I am always the one who can hike a mountain find peace and be ok.

Well this time I had to cry out to God and to my close friends and wow you really realize how awesome your friends are when you tell them where you are at. so my friends reminded me what I always do Go sit on Jesus lap. and then go back into the dream and ask him what it meant. So I did.

It was a hard thing to do as that is not a nice dream. especially as a counselor it can be a little over wealming. So I climb on Jesus lap. I said ok Jesus what was this about. He says to me well dear that part of you is dead. and you must die to yourself to live. I was wow. but why so dramatic and why did I do it. Once again he said YOU HAVE TO DIE TO YOURSELF TO LIVE. ah I see so I am the one who had to pull the trigger I had to let go. He said yes. He looked at me and said I have not forgotten your dreams. I have not forgotten you. I love you and I will take care of you and you have done well look at your life write now. I was wow. you are write.

That night I gave up going to a rich and famous new years party to be with my boys and some close friends. then I got a call and was asked out on a date. by a very wealthy famous amazing man. who also loves the Lord. he is a world travelor and has pretty much done some big things in africa so my heart is huge for africa and always has been. anyway I was treated like a queen never been treated like this in my life. My boys when I got home were so happy. they were yahoo mom you finally did it you went on a date and you deserve it. I had a talk with my oldest asked him son why wouldn't you of wanted your mom and dad back together and why are you glad your dad is getting married. He said mom he needs someone to take care of him he just does not know how to be alone. and mom you you know who you are and you know how to be on your own and do well but you also deserve someone who will love and treat you like I love and treat you like a queen mom. and I just well couldn't handle being ignored by my own dad any more it is better this way.

My heart melted one wow my son is so amazing and two it was sad to hear.

So a new year and a new beginging and I guess we will see what will come of 2010 and I guess ya We do need to die to ourselfs to live

ah the resort

2009-11-25T23:02:00.001-08:00

AHH only one more day of work. then I hit the resort at harrison. Oh man I need this. just soaking in the hotsprings. Got to love that. it has been a while since I got to get away just me.. yahoo

Ha patience is a vertue

2009-11-23T22:51:00.000-08:00

Ok so it is a year and a half since I have had a conversation with my x. I mean conversation. had a good friend intercede today on all the crap that was going on. Funny thing is I am glad I learnt some new counseling skills. I have realized that sometimes I have to explain more detail so eyes can be open. so I used that today. asked my x the question when have I ever cut you down. or yelled or changed my tone of voice in the last few years. I stated it many times. and said if all you recieved was the way you talked to me then yes I can understand not talking to me for a year and a half. But when said it many times. the answere was never. in the midst of this I was praying felt God share you need to let him know how many times you opened the door for open communication. about the children and offered friendship. So I did. then felt the Lord say let him know you forgave him. so I did. my pride was like what how many times do I need to say it. God then reminded me how I changed and if I would be hurt if no one gave me the second chance in my life. I was wow ok. So I stated listen if we can just stop this crap and understand I had no choice but to go to the lawyers when no one would talk to me for over a year. The x agreed ya I see your point. When I sent him what child maintinence sent me and realized I actually fought for his behalf. And showed him detail bills on medical bills for boys and sports. there was a realization. and wam we were able to have an agreement. The first agreement in over a year and a half. Starting to feel like we might have a building point of something to work with. After explaining no mom wants to raise there kids alone. and to look at the bigger picture you drive a new car not me I drive my same vehical and got blessed with a 4x very old but heck it gets me to work and up mountains. which I need for what I do in my counseling buisness. Then said you have time for a relationship come home and get to kick the feet up. no worries who will babysit if you go out. and I have to make sure there is food in the fridge. and make sure there are cloths on there backs. I felt heard for the first time instead of a line drawn and no communication. there was something time will tell how it sticks but that is how trust in started.

IS there not one man

2009-11-22T23:41:00.000-08:00

Is there not one man who could speak to my X and tell him insulting his X wife and not communicating with her for over a year is now how you build a relationship and gain trust. I do not hear from the man for over a year and a half. out of the kindness of my heart I sent many many many emails saying we should talk there are things we could talk about with the boys. nothing only messages of when he is coming out.

Then I talk to him out of the kindness of my heart as child maintinence says you have to pay for medical bills for you boys and half there sports. and now I get a nasty letting calling me names and insulting me. when I make a offer for him to pay less then they are just going to take from his check. I get blaimed this is my doing I have nothing to do with this. I had been paying for all these things by myself all this time.

The lies and crap need to stop I have so many emails that are nasty from him and yet I know he acts like the victom on the other end. I pray a strong man would stand up to him. and he could hear not talking to your family for over a year and a 1/2 is not smart and it does not build trust.

HOly wow

2009-11-18T22:38:00.000-08:00

Ok Ok so tonight was freaken awesome. went to homegroup at my friends in surrey. first of all I live an hour away and was wiped and oh the hour does not include traffic. lol. anyway was going to get into my 4x4 winter SUV and go home and get the car as it is faster on the highway. but God speaks loud and clear and says no you go straight there. I was what but What about the boys. he says don't worry about them just call them and say hi and you love them let the sitter be with them. so I am like fine ok ok. having no idea when I get there that. Forrest gibs from Texas is there this prophetic guy that is amazing. He walks in the door I still have no idea why he is there or who he is. him and I click write away start laughing hanging out talking what ever. My friend tells him about my band and they talk about there band what ever such things talk talk. and then he turns to me pick up the guitar and play a song. I am ok sure I can do that. so I pick up the guitar play a song. and then he gives a sweet word to my friends son moses. and then wam I am next tells me to sit by him I am ok sure. Then he tells me ok everyone is a gift from God but you are a chosen one. you stand at the gates of hell and you are like you are in hell and you drag out the ones no one will touch. and because of this you face death all the time. ok he has no idea about my disease or what I have faced. people chuckle in the room. I am ok now you have my attention. and he starts going off about who I am and what I am called to. and that I am like daniel in the lions den but I am there all the time. and that I am safe and are very very close to God and that is why I am untouched by things that take most people out. WOW did he ever peg me. Thanks Jesus cause I was saying the other day my work I feel like I am standing in Hell as I work with first nations in corrections so I work with criminals then you add the spiritual dinamics and you walk in and there are masks on the wall that well most christians would walk out. But here I am a christian amongst people I truly love. God has been showing me so much this last week it is amazing.

NOthing like the mountains to cheer you up glad I have a 4x4

2009-11-17T20:54:00.000-08:00

Well today I went up the mountains with my youth at work. got paid to take them to the top and yell our frustrations from the top. came down laughing our heads off. and now I can take them more often at work. a good day all in all. then came home and had family night with my boys. read our devotions and off to bed. might need to get a second job. I tell you in stoon I had 3 jobs to take care of my kids. and now might have to have 2 jobs here. mainly because of someone not wanting to pay what they need to and threatning to quit there job. But I know God will provide he always does.

ahhhh

2009-11-15T00:10:00.000-08:00

I am so frustrated write now. I do not know why I do this to myself. I tried to help out my X and try to make things easier as child maintinence and a judge decided that He had to pay for half of all the sports and medicine my kids have had to have this past year. and so I decided I would not make him have to pay the full amount that the judge wanted to pay. and wam what happens I get smacked in the face. I just started in a year talking to him on the phone. and wam. that door shuts and once again the courts and child maintinence are going to have to deal with it. and I will have to now not even be able to do anything to help him. I should of just left it that way. so stupid of me. well tomorrow I will be hiking up a mountain so that will help to have my head clear and spend some time with Jesus.

loves living where I am

2009-11-12T18:42:00.000-08:00

Well this week so far has been good but man em I still tired from having that stupid H1N1.. energy come back by sunday I am going hiking. So this wed I had a sweet day off. slept in so good. to sleep in. Then I was going to take my kids to the hockey game but they decided mom had spent enough time with them and they just wanted to go with there friends and guys only. so strange so I decided to go golfing with my friends who live in my basement sweet. had such a great day. I still have it with the golfing. It is nice with the new shoulder I got a year ago in stoon. I have not golfed since so wow I did pretty darn good. almost had a hole in one with a par 5 but I got it in in 2 instead not to bad I say. This sunday going hiking with a couple of friends.

going to be awesome.

a new found secret

2009-11-07T01:41:00.000-08:00

People say how is it in one day you can face hell and pain on earth but by the end of the day you found freedom. Well here is my secret I run not away but to the issue face on. I think to myself Why em I crying what is hurting me and why.. Nope it is not the other person what about me what is the rout of this pain. Then i run to daddys lap I vent and tell him where I am at. then Daddy says what he needs to say. Then I give him that route. or shall I say root. and let him rip it out. and then I say ok dad I gave you this root what do you have to replace the whole I have there. He always has an amazing truth and gift. See my life and my good health has been about finding victory in the pain. going ok I feel pain and now I need to see Jesus and get healing. Ya my x has a girlfriend congrades on him. And when God blesses me with the write time for me to have a man in my life. well i will be a gift to him as I will come knowing who I am I will know what I like where I want to see my life. and Who I am in christ. I will have confidence and healing. I wont show up with baggage from my past but I will show up. As Leanne Lion heart a women who is a survivor of many things a women of peace and Joy. that is who I will show up

blessings all

It all makes sense now

2009-11-06T01:37:00.000-08:00

Wow what a brutal week. I had two sick boys. a week of work with no pay because I was home sick. and used all my sick days already. and then found out through the grape vine my x has a girlfriend. wam smack that hurts. I have not dated all this time as I thought I would give it time before I move on. and maybe something might change. I guess I thought just maybe by the chance someone got struck by lightning. I guess this is my sign it is time to move on and stop holding back. and worrying if I am ok to even date. I have had a real awesome guy even be around that I could of dated but decided not to because I didn't want to be a fool. but I guess it is just time in my life to let go and move on. I have my two boys they are the world to me. and I have great friends and the important thing is fallowing my heart and my beliefs I know I can look in the mirror in the morning and be proud of the choices I have made and not worry or have any shame.

Life in chilliwack

2009-11-04T00:19:00.000-08:00

Well it has been a week of the flu running through my house. kind of sucks. Me and nathaniel first Got diagnosed with the H1N1 and are taking Tamiflu but today Isaiah came home sick also. the house has been hit. this flu sucks. but other then that it has us all cuddling in my king size bed watching movies together and having some rest. so I guess it aint so bad. Life other then that my little man has his birthday coming up. this saturday so I am hoping we will all be over the flu by then. It was a good visit seeing friends in saskatoon when I went and it was a good time to find peace and closure. and I think it was good for people to see what God has done in my life since last I was there. And good to see what the Lord has done in my friends lives.

Good to be back to beautiful bc. I love living here I have to say that is one thing for sure

hugs

Leanne

some frustrations

2009-10-13T20:10:00.000-07:00

Why is it when you are divorced. that it seems your x doesn't want to communicate outside of a email. or trying to communicate through your children. never healthy to do that. not fair to the kids. Then it leaves you sitting there trying to help your kids work through there frustrations. Adult conversations are for adults. and it is so important for the parents to communicate to have some kind of relationship even if it is for the children. there has to be some kind of common ground. like you have two amazing kids. I mean isn't some kind of friendship still able to exist. I have seen other friends who are divorced have friendships with there x. Then again I have seen some not. I guess this is where it becomes the individuals choice and nothing. you can force to happen.

Ah a awesome day on sunday

2009-09-28T22:17:00.000-07:00

Wow on Sunday I had like the best day ever. our band lead worship in Hope. and holy crap were heard a choir of Angels it was amazing. and then God like totally showed up. Have not had that in so so long. Then after that went out for lunch with our intercesors and the band. Then me and my bass player Chris Clog and Brian West hit the river and went fishing I caught seven fish it was so amazing I loved my sunday. Then Came home curled up on my couch with some friends and pizza as I was feeling sick. lol. oh well. Then Phoned work to call in sick as I have been sick for the last couple of days. and today being monday I spent all day being in bed. had a good laugh when I went to the doctors. lol as I just went to a clinic and the doctor freaked out when he heard about my disease so funny he did not know what to do. so I had to tell him it is ok these are prescriptions I take I do really well and no how to take care of myself. it was so so funny he was wow I have never met anyone like you it is so rare I told him no worries I am used to doctors wanting to learn more. so funny. I laughed. All was pretty good. got home went to my neighbors house and then we watched movies. and relaxed so I can feel better for work.. life is sweet.

HOly hard week

2009-09-25T23:45:00.000-07:00

I work in an addiction home for first nations youth in corrections. somedays my job is really hard and deal with heavy stuff. this week has been especially hard. As a counselor. I find it hard sometimes as I find I get attached to my clients. there was a melt down at work and got called in. to help bring peace to the situation. The amazing thing was as there was such desperation I got to pray with the youth. and also staff. God showed up and gave each one there an amazing picture. Then I had to deal with a young man wanting to kill himself. was very heavy and hard. and painful to see this pain. on my drive home I put on a worship CD and the song sang to sit on the fathers knee even when he feels so far away. in this time of crisis it felt like he was far away. but as I climbed on daddies lap I felt peace. God is good. and now it is time to take some R and R and rest up. On Sunday I will be leading worship at a church in Hope. it is an amazing little church we call it the church that Could. this summer I have gotten to play at several churches and have barely been to my own. but it is all good. at least on thursdays I get to hang with my dear friends we are planting a church in chilliwack. The funny thing I thought since I was divorced that God was done with me in ministry but I have been showed that is not the case. everytime I think of ripping up my pastors card. I get support from the orginization I am liscenced under letting me know you are not done. as a matter of fact you have just begun. I am pretty excited only a couple more weeks and I will be at my pastors retreat hanging out with John paul Jackson and my many amazing pastor friends it should be a refreshing time..

Wow a sweet weekend.

2009-09-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

Had a great weekend. spent it hanging out with my good friend tracy who is my neighbor. we went friday to the pub. and hung out with my friend who just one the belt in UFC ya you heard it. UFC I have a friend who fights there. then Sat we went to look at houses. wow some amazing houses. out there. overlooking the lake wow.

it is hard to want to give up mine. but now my neighbor is wanting me to take over her house. and she will pay the damage deposit it is not as big as mine but has a nice deck on it. it is only 3600 square feet and mine is 4000 square feet six bedrooms hers is only 4 bedrooms but an unfinished basement. hmmm what to do. it is a huge offer that is for sure I could use it as a rental or something. I guess I will pray about what to do. oh ya we also went to the lake as it is still like summer here. Then on sunday I was driving to church and then talked to my budy david so went to his church and got to see him which was cool I get to see him again on tuesday as he has a job where I work so that will be awesome to see him more.

Then on Sunday came home after buying a bunch of new cloths as non of my cloths fit me anymore because I lost so much weight a great feeling I am in a size 5 now. so cool and tuesday tomorrow we have kick boxing. yahoo. good times

Good day with my two amazing boys

2009-09-15T20:24:00.000-07:00

Spent the day with my two amazing boys. Went to docs with Isaiah then nathaniel and Isaiah and I went on a date. for lunch and then had a family night. I sure love spending time with my amazing boys. Man I love my boys they rock. so much fun to be with them. They are also now both in karate. and they are so good. I love it them boys rock

Times it can be hard being a single parent

2009-09-09T21:29:00.000-07:00

When I realize it can be hard to be a single parent is when I am the only one paying for sports and paying for school supplies and school cloths and the other party does not even offer to help. but that is when I have to look to christ and go ok. I need to trust you through all of this. and know you will make the way for providing for them.

I am officially divorced and it feels like a new beginning for me. I have moved on in my life. and have been blessed with great friends

Crazy day

2009-09-08T23:15:00.000-07:00

Wow my life is new now. My lawyer went to court it is all over.. It was hard yesturday I had to go get school supplies and get the boys close. it is hard when you are a single mom and no one offers to even help with those things. even when they are there kids also. but nothing I can do about it. my boys need what they need. but today was good as everything is finished with my past now. I move on.. I also got invited to go to africa again. and need to pray what I should do

I hope I have some answeres.

Leanne

A week in School.

2009-08-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

Wow it has been a crazy week. driving out to Vancouver every day. and getting paid to do it. and then going to school and getting paid to do it. and now having an exam that gets me further in my education and getting paid to do it. I have to say is pretty sweet. I am tired though. it has been a long time since being in the books again. but hey this is all for a good reason. to make me a better counselor. I love this job of mine. I love working with first nations youth in corrections. and being a addiction counselor is so rewarding. Then I come home to my two amazing awesome boys. that I have been blessed with to raise. and it is so amazing the talks we have. I am glad I am a counselor as It helps me with raising my kids I know how to talk with them. Help them get through there stuff. I love them so much nothing more rewarding then to know everything I do is for them.

I also love my weekends. generally it starts with my call from david and then him and I and my boys hitting the mountains weather it is rock climbing or cliff jumping or hiking or sitting and watching the sun go down. It is the best. I have to admit times have been really amazing. nothing like having a good friends to talk to and enjoy the great out doors with and for my boys to have someone to look up to. as they love the same things. I have a few very amazing friends.. and this week has been super blessed as the sweet thing is my friend Jerek drove all the way from saskatoon to see me. pretty amazing I have to say..

Hope you are all well...

Things are so good.

2009-08-23T23:13:00.000-07:00

Life is so good. I have been so crazy these days between surfing and rock climbing and hiking and my amazing boys and my amazing Job. it is awesome. I love living out here in BC. I get to travel to different churches and do worship with the band. and I have amazing friends. I love my life out here. so amazing have I said it is so amazing yet. I am also in school so that is pretty sweet. life is just plain well sweeet.

dream dream

2009-07-31T03:24:00.000-07:00

Well how are you all?? hope you are well. Myself doing freaken awesome. I did have a brad kidney infection for two weeks. but heck I was so stupid so my fault. I got it and had blood and everything to show I had one.. but then I decided I had no time for the doctor and went two weeks with it not many new I had it and I survived it with no pain meds. lol.. and now doing quite a bit better. so dumb of me. lol... I just laughed though. my pain tolerence the doctor said was super high as he said I should of not even been able to walk. I walked write in as if nothing was happening. lol. so stupid of me. on other notes the band is getting crazy gigs and we really have not advertised.

I also em doing amazing at work. and have moved up. but the one thing I am praying about is I got another job offer. working for federal gov. in corrections still just different program all together. and paid twice what I get now. crap I thought what I got now was amazing but the offer. is fricken huge huge pay. if I took that job I could pay cash for a GT mustang and buy realistate. so hmm but with the other job I love it so much I love my supervisor we work real well together. and I love the level I have gotten to as I teach and I do worshops and counseling all the things I am gifted at. and it is first nations and that is just amazing. guess I need to pray.

I have no issues with money now eather.. but man oh man making more in order to help others sounds tempting also. all in Gods hands

Leanne

Free like a bird

2009-07-29T23:40:00.000-07:00

Wow things are rocking for me. I am getting another freaken promotion. I have never done so well in my life. growing all the time. READ THE SHACK WOW WILL ROCK YOUR SOCKS OFF..

other then that my boys are amazing. but pray for them My oldest had a hard time seeing his dad. broke down after and was in tears with wishing he did not have to see him. I encouraged him to go. but he still did not want to but went anyway. pray for his heart I am getting him into more counseling soon.

Wow what a birthday...

2009-06-28T02:09:00.000-07:00

Wow is what I have to say about my birthday.... Last year was the worst birthday. but this year wow. all the friends and so many friends. that drove all the way out to my place to party.. Such a great. time. I have to say. wow. I felt so loved by every one. my closest friends came out and had a grand time. my spiritual parents came out and blessed me so much. and my pastors came out and blessed me. I could not of asked for a better birthday. and then on top of it I went shopping for the party for cloths as my cloths were to big for me. then found out I am even a smaller size then I originally thought. I fit a 27 waste wow. feeling pretty good about myself. and then to find out there are a few guys that like me made me feel wow. I am so surprised. There are 8 guys who like me and are very close friends I have known for years. have not seen them in a few years. but wow. talk about a ego builder lol. I think I have finally realized I am a beautiful women. as all are very good looking and sucesful. what do I mean by that well lets say famous or financialy stable and all love Jesus. and one has a pent house time to pray... not sure I am ready for a relationship yet. but still sure feels good.

this is the point where I guess i have to say divorce is through in a few days. so that is a huge weight off my shoulders. it has been a long haul but will be good when it is through.

I tried to work it out. but to have no communication and no movement in a year says allot.

I am sure some have heard different stories from the other party but truly no communication. kind of does not make things well. and to hear I am done so many times pretty much does it for me. so Yes I have moved on and em doing very well since I have moved on. I am only on one medication now and that is the one that keeps me alive. that itself says allot. financially doing amazing I have gotten a promotion at work and keep climbing the later at my job. I now em locked in and there for life. lol unless I chose to move on. I can not loose my job otherwise that is the great thing about the government. I work with first nations people and God is moving there. Huge movement and huge peace situations happening throughout the tribes of BC. and being apart of that rocks.

Love how the truth always comes out

2009-06-22T23:58:00.001-07:00

I love how When God tells us to leave things and not worry about it.. And to continue on with our lives. and not worry about proving the truth. How in the end the truth comes out. Jesus you are so good.. I can sit be a mom to my boys and be me and you will take care of us.

I have nothing to prove with you. as you always know the truth. and eventually those who were not sure get to see it anyway. Thanks Jesus you rock

Good weekend

2009-06-22T12:42:00.000-07:00

Today was awesome. well this weekend was awesome. spent it with my brother and his girlfriend and my step mom and my dad. It was amazing we went boating in Vancouver it was so much fun.

The boys had a blast and my nathaniel got a hair cut. He had long hair now it is short. he looks so much older.. Such a cutie that boy. Things are going well. God is doing huge things in our lives here. love it

Annoid

2009-06-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

I find it annoying have to do all the work. For someone who wants to see there children but do not want to do the leg work to do what is needed. Then leaves it on my court then complains at what I can get. arg people if you want something do not make other do your work step up and do the leg work take ownership of your own things. look in the mirror I always say. you can not have a slave your whole life. LOL

ah life and stop blaming as um who sees them. every day kissing there wounds and pays for there care. so you have to pay for something for a week. ooh scary. try paying ever day and standing there every day. There are Gods gift so it is worth it so worth it

dreams

2009-06-16T17:59:00.000-07:00

Well lately I have had intense dreams. crazy intense dreams then after I ask Jesus what do they mean and he speaks very clearly to me about them. Then I ask a mentor. just to keep it real. and usually they get the same thing. then the crazy thing is the dreams actually happen how strange is that.

I had a dream not to long ago about my dads and my relationship and actually having impacting conversations now some may say ya so we all have those convos. well not me my dad and I have not gotten along for many years. but the dream I had was him being a positive impact on my boys. and well I stopped in to see him for a night and day with my boys now after our last visit I was not going to do that again. But in my dream God showed me to give him another chance. and holy crap for the first time ever my dad was very respectful to me. and I was to him. he had a fire and sat with me and said so How are you really.. I told him how I was he told me how proud he was of me and said he has seen a real possitive change in the boys. Then my dad played baseball with the boys even after being in pain with his back. then took us boating it was amazing my boys had a great time. now my dad is paying for golfing lessons. and they are really excited to be with my dad. It is great to see this relationship change just like it was in the dream so real. I never thought this would ever happen.

I encourage all write your dreams down you never know what the Lord is saying. then ask even in regular life if this were a dream what would it mean.

blessings

Heading away with my boys

2009-06-10T22:58:00.000-07:00

I am heading on my short vacation with my boys and can not wait. so excited after I get off work we hit the road. We are so excited to go see some very close dear friends that have not seen since I went in october. so this time I have my boys so good.

Leanne

Love the moments with your kids

2009-06-09T22:04:00.000-07:00

Ah what a family night tonight. hung out with my amazing boys. watched a movie and then my oldest nathaniel. asked me to read scripture and share mom when have you helped people and how. then asked me to share when people have helped me. So amazing Got to tell him about my Job and what I do every day.. He liked that then I told him the story of friends who took me in when I had no place to live as a youth. it was amazing to see him smile from ear to ear and think of ways he could help others.. So cool.. I love being real with my boys. I love that we talk deep..

Something I think we take advantage of as parents. we have babies and it is not that hard. well except some births are hard. but we take advantage and think we can do what we want and be lazy as parents and not do what we need to do to keep them safe. or think because our blood flows through them we can do what we want. but there are people who can not have children and have to go through heck to adopt.. and be so checked over with a thin comb to make sure they will be fit. have to take parenting courses and everything. I think those are important I have taken many parenting course because I wanted to be the best I could be still always doing more to learn more. Value your children let there voice be heard. allow there no's to be no's for boundries and there yes to be yes.. for there healthy boundries and teach them when to say no and when to say yes. teach them to be real do not allow religiouse. rules ruin there relationship with Jesus.

Something crappy had happen to my kids not to long ago and religious people told me not to report it. but to forgive. forgive is one thing but honest protection is a whole nother factor. even after I did not report my own kids did. to there counselor which put me in trouble even though I did nothing wrong. so in the end it still was reported. and I was made out to be the bad person. what the heck.. Now I look back and go my heart said to do something about it. but religiousness told me to forgive and not do anything about it. so it happend for quite some time for them. not fair and I am the one who has had to repent to them as some people thought they would not remember those things as they were so young. ya write... untill it happend later on again. maybe a little later but it still continued and I did not stop it as I did not know it happend till they came back home and days later broke down and found out it was happening for a while. even though that adult would not admit to it except one incodent and felt this person should be forgiven and it should all be done with. so I was just as guilty.

But here I am my kids are safe. they are happy and healing has come. and I had to step up and not care about the religious hand I had to be more concerned about there health.

love your children. be smart find healing where healing needs to come and do not live in shame. and do not be ashamed or slow to get help. you can change as God will help us change. Oh and one other thing look at the fruit. hmm did I have fruit in sask. nope not much. do I have fruit here oh ya I only take 2 meds now and non are pain meds. I am healthy like crazy healthy. My imune use to be week now it is super strong. amazing strong no more is a flue dangerous to me. I got a promotion at work. my kids sleep again. and are not afraid anymore. and at a gov job I have full freadom to talk about God now that is a miracle. see fruit real fruit

So be smart love your children and be willing to do what it takes to be as good as a parent as you can if that means taking parenting courses. and you have to rip your arm off to do it freaken heck stop procastinating and do it. oh and do not think not talking to the one taking care of them is wise.

but if you are not willing do not freak out at the one keeping those kids safe. things to think about.. I have made a commitment to keep my boys safe. and unless that person gets help well then it is not my deal it is there deal..

learn to stand people

What I love about my life here

2009-06-09T14:30:00.000-07:00

Ok ok you are probably thinking are things always good.. Well I have to say lately pretty much but I have found realizm... hmm what is that. well before some of you who read this know me from saskatoon. I found when I moved there I was so busy being a pastor and learnt how to put masks on. Like oh well people treat you better if your marriage looks together. plus I was told that such a freaken lie. or it is about what your gifts are ya screw that. or how close you are to Jesus and well screw that also...

I have learned to be me. so that puts a smile on my face even in the midst of crap. which does not effect me like it used to. now I go ha look I am alive and living. so good.
I have a group of friends who I have known for ever and our rule is realizm and if you can not be real that means the bad the good and the ugly well then screw it . cause it is not real friendship.

I feel safe to have bad days which puts a smile on your face. and the challenge I get to from my friends is well feel that day and now ask Jesus what does he want to say to you in this.

not hey put a mask on you can not feel that way.. the funny thing is after I get challenged and hugged and really shown true love not people who judge and walk out. well I get a smile on my face because in the end heck I find Jesus and even if they did walk away it would not matter because well HE LOVES ME AND WANTS TO SHOW ME MY Self...

I have learnt allot about myself it seemed before to know I was alive I had to find chaos. now It is not like that to know I am alive I find peace.
Yep real peace. People always say now when they stand by me holy crap you make me feel so mellow you are so peacefull. your home is peaceful.

I used to be the one making the entrance so everyone knows I am there not now ah sometimes depends if I am hyper or not lol... but it is not a bad thing only allows my friends to joke and pick on me which I love as they always get me to face my fears.. LOL feet in the face. ah I hate feet lol...

anyway here is my quote BE WHO YOU ARE AND FIND THE REAL CHRIST BLESSINGS

Living life with every being in me

2009-06-06T02:27:00.000-07:00

Well I live my life to the fullest. live each day as it was my last. I have always said that but for years I had no energy or no will to really do it the way I wanted to.

Now that I am in BC and my health is amazing. and I love my job I am living life to the fullest. enjoying each moment I can with my boys. We hike swim at the lakes we have all around us. and we spend time really living well together talking about everything I have a good relationship with my boys. and I love it. sometimes they have hard times. but far and few inbetween. it is usually after a crappy phone convo. with someone. does not matter who I figure.

but other then that life has been good. we love being here we love the relationships. we love our church and the realism and how people are. I love that we do not ware masks there if it is a crappy day well we at the church show it and love each other through it and when it is a good day we are there again loving each other through it.

I love my friends challenge me to change things in my life and then challenge me to stand strong in other things in my life. I love that our relationships are about true community and tucking each other in not hidding or closing off groups. or pretending to cancel them to start up a whole other one. I hate it when those things happend back in my old home. but here we are just real with each other we talk about deep issues and move forward to create real deep true honest the good the bad and the ugly relationships as we all say we call it ripping off the mask friendships. be real that is my moto these days take off the masks and be freaken real.. works a whole lot better and makes me smile loveing life living life and things are amazing

Living life well

2009-05-28T01:16:00.000-07:00

Life has been very good to me out here in BC. My health is amazing and I have an amazing Job. My boys are doing so well. I have been drawing again after 11 years. and just living life and I have found so much peace I know now how to Be and important thing to know in life. HOpe you are all doing well blessings

Leanne

Here it goes

2009-05-10T03:42:00.000-07:00

First I will say if you ever have an questions why I moved on I am open to share. I will say I hope Curt the best in his future.

I have learned allot about myself and realized holy crap I am a beautiful women. on the inside and outside. I for so many years done and lived how everyone wanted me to at the same time trying to fight for me to be me if that makes any sense. I feel like I was released from prison. My children are my world and to be honest they are doing so so so well living out here. when we were in saskatoon I would be up till 4 am with my one boys as he could not sleep as he was having fears to do with his dad. since being here he sleeps and he is so happy. even today he said I am so happy hear mom what you did has changed my life I am so happy mom. and my youngest he is doing so well in school he went from not doing well not reading not writting struggling with wanting to kill himself. and now he loves life and is getting A s in school now that is amazing. I have been finding healing with my health. and loving life I love the Lord and em growing in him each day. some may disagree me deciding enough was enough but you have no idea non what me and my boys have lived with and how long. it is hard to be ignored. and then have bombs go off. it is hard to live as roomates and have no partner. and there is so much more deeper. that while all those who do not know the debths have no clue. but the counselors do the ones we went to out here. and the ones that would agree this has been a good move for the boys. sorry to have disapointed any of you. think of it this way if this was your own daughter would you want her to live that way. if you ever want to understand deeper then email me. leanneh30@gmail.com

I think no one reads this anymore. so I am shutting it down

2009-04-11T03:48:00.000-07:00

well I think no one really reads this anymore so I am shutting her down.

maybe it is because I am starting a fresh life and em moving on.

I have had to make the choice to move on from my relationship with my husband. Nothing has changed and it has been a year. just a bunch of false pretenses to show others it has but in the reality of us we here nothing so it has become time.. there fore I feel it is time to shut this down also.

life is good write now. and I feel closer to GOd then ever and i have found inner healing and also seeing physical healing. which must say alot.

God is good

Leanne

Hello

2009-04-09T12:53:00.000-07:00

Hello all how goes it. well it is easter weekend. so sit and think about the things you need to leave at the cross. weather it is broken relationships. unforgivenss forgiveness. or even just the things your are thanksfull for what Jesus did for us.

Love someone today you really usually do not even want to take the day to give them a moment of a heart that is tender and soft. and show them Gods tender heart

blessings be to all

and I am trying to find out who reads this thing as I am concidering shutting it down. so please leave a comment if you like my writtings and want me to continue

Life

2009-04-08T02:06:00.000-07:00

It has been. good these last few days. spent the weekend with my boys. hung out with some good friends. played a great board game have not done that in a long time.

The funny thing was I had been working night shifts so my sleep was all crazy so got a little extra sleep on sunday morning then woke up thought I could boot to Abbotsford in time for church. on the motor scooter but you can only go so fast on one of those suckers. made it in time to church to see everyone leave but eh it was ok so went out for lunch with a couple of good friends who also are one of the pastors at the church so still got to have church anyway. lol.

then came home and my little boy nathaniel was not feeling so good. he ended up with a virus that causes a nasty rash. man oh man. the funny thing about him is he hates admitting when he is sick.. he kept saying I feel fine mom I feel fine but come on what little boy on a brite sunny day goes into his room and lays down and sleeps most of the afternoon not feeling well as if. arg..

The good thing is he is feeling better now and back at school. the doctor said he had to stay home a few days. so funny even at the doctors office he tried to say he was totally fine and nothing was wrong with him. lol the doc just looked at him and said you my friend have to stay home for a couple of days and get lots of rest.

He was so mad he wanted to go to school. well at least I can say one thing my kids love school.

and I am back at work.. but I will admit I am tired today. but it is always hard the first night I find. it is easter this weekend and I have a good friend come out for a visit so that will be good. I think we might go to harrison hotsprings again. yahoo. should be fun. I love my boys

Leanne

I love my job

2009-03-30T05:02:00.000-07:00

I live in BC and I am so glad to be here. I love my job and I am glad to go to it. to wake up and know you are going to be well. to wake up and say I can have a good day. I love my boys I love my friends. to pick up a phone and talk in a second to say hey last minute you want to hang and not make an appointment. rocks I love how there is always something to do. I love my church as it is so much fun. to feel safe with friends and family who know my heart. they know me well. inside and out. I can be me once again. I love my house sometimes it freaks me out though I sit and wonder what the crap how can this be. I am home again a happy heart I am full again with life.. The only thing I do not get is the judgements that come not from bc but from outside where I used to be. You do not see me this smile I have you do not know me I am sad to say. I had so much pain living back in the prarie land I felt like I was in prison and could not escape. because of it I was not really me. I tried to control my enviroment cause I thought it would make me free. I realized all it did was make it worse. I wish you could see my happy face. the smile I wake up with when I look out at the mountain the smile in my face when the rain hits my face. the smile I have ridding my motor scooter the joy I have cause Jesus filled my heart. I never really wanted to live there in the first place. I guess that is what made my heart sad and felt like I was in prison. I was told if I went a promise would be filled. I was told he would change and be a better man. as he hated the lower mainland. it did not happen it was all a lie. as a matter of fact it left us dry.

but here I am under the sun the view of heaven from high above. I am glad to be here in bc. I am glad to be here in my secret place. I have found joy and happyness once again.

stop your concerns and leave me be

2009-03-25T23:23:00.000-07:00

I write this message to you who have taken it in your hands to discuss my life behind my back. Please stop as this has done nothing but torn me down. Stop thinking because you care it is important to discuss me with out me there. Stop assuming I am not in good hands. I am surounded by support and finding healing here. This place I am in is one of care. I have weekly meetings and seeking inner healing and prayer. I am growing and discovering who I am. I am only concerned for my boys and me. and if that is selfish then let that be. If finding out who I am in the fathers hands and finding me for who I am then that is fine as I can only seek. the face of Jesus to find full healing in this hand. I am tired of being judged. when I am not around you do not know me for you did not take the time to understand. I am here as a mom and a friend I am not hear to pastor or teach I am here to learn and grow myself. To be closer to Jesus is all I want. but the constant attacks and assumptions that I am a deciever and not a child of God. has hurt way to much I would have to say. that if it was not for Christ I would not return to church or anything like that. But here I have a loving home a church and family who understands.

They do not say I can not be on stage playing my drums or stumming the guitar as this place welcomes the untuned guitar of a special needs man so they welcome me as well and willing to walk through councel time. to find wholeness in who I am. so please stop talking about me I am not there. do not judge me unless you have taken the time. I will not lie to you I will tell the truth. stop this judgment I am suppose to be a friend.

It is time to move on

2009-03-08T03:05:00.000-07:00

SO much time has past

and I have realized that this is fairy tale

to assume things will last

I have waited so long for you to make your move

I am really not quite sure when this turned into a game.

I am tired now from this long wait.

There have been way to many lies for me trust

So much time has past and no phone calls the only time I hear your voice is when you want something

You say to me I do not know you say to me I have no clue what to do

you say to me I know what is write but that is not what you truly want

So you say you will wait till I make the first move.

How is that fair when you have decided you are done.

I think I get this game it is so you can look good.

you just tell everyone you want us back

but I know the truth which you seem to lack

you would much rather have me tell you what to do

you say to me you struggle with speaking the truth or your heart

but choose not to get help to change that strugle

you say to me you see no issue and marriage councelling will help but even the doctor and phyc say you need to deal with this one first.

why would you say you would move to be here to change this life but decide in the end it is not what you really want.

You say all you want is someone to tell you what to do and be there to take care of you

I am a wife not your mom

A wife needs a man who wants and desires her

so after so long I pick up the phone

I checked to see if anyone was home

you said to me you have no answeres and still do not know if this family is really what you desire

why do you speak so many lies. you advertise you want me back but your actions and words tell me it is not true. Go ahead and talk to your new friend maybe she will be the one to help you find your new begining is it more time to see if she wants you or is it more time cause you truly do not know what to do.

I can not keep sitting here waiting on the line I can not keep waiting here wondering when

This game is over I am not taking my turn. it is your time to walk this one out and I hope you choose soon

Not playing the game no more

2009-03-04T03:54:00.000-08:00

I have decided I am not playing the game anymore. I picked up the phone I realized any conversations with (my husband.) have been because I have picked the phone up to talk. As of march it has been a year since the day he explained I am not in a place to be a father or husband and em not attracted to you or any other women at that matter in front of my kids and a friend. it was the day a year ago that shattered my heart into peaces.

I decided to ask the question why do you want to be in my life and if so why have you not talked to me or made steps to be in my life. I got the response I do not know. I am not fully sure I do want you back or not I just know I have been told it is the write thing to do. I do not want the write thing I just want to know it is because of true love. I believe I deserve that. SO my encouragement was if you truly want me then do the things the phyciatrist has shared to do. otherwise the rest wont work. my heart was broke after that conversation. why I am writting about this because it is my blog and I am going to be honest. I am tired of hiding. I deserve better. not a I don't know after a year. or even a I dont know after 8 months of not being in the house. so there is my heart on my sleeve

My daughter is coming home

2009-03-03T21:20:00.000-08:00

My daughter is coming home and I am so excited I could jump through my skin. Ya you are wondering daughter what hugh how come we did not know about this. Well let me tell you I had a teenager knock on my door. needing a mom. so I signed up and said ok signed the papers and now I am a mom of 3. My daughter originally did not want to move to bc as she wanted to be near her boyfriend. but now she is realizing she needs her mom. So I payed for her plane ticket and she is on her way home. I am feeling like what the dad must of felt like as his prodical son returned it is for me like my prodical daughter has returned. and so I must celebrate. a new begining. a new hope I can not wait to see what God is going to do for her in her life.

Leanne

Hey Hmmm Wondering wonder bread good food health freaks metal rock music fun

2009-03-03T00:35:00.000-08:00

I bet you are wondering what the heck is with the title.. Well I was board thought I would see who actually reads this thing. So if you read it sign your name and make a funny comment or something insane. or happy or sad it will all make me glad. lol I am enjoying my life out here in the mountains. with my awesome friends and family. I am feeling the joy of life again. a fullness of peace and joy. Watching my kids go outside to play and enjoy the sun while all you crazy saskatooners freeze your buts off. lol. he he.. Well for me the joy is not the sun it is seeing two boys enjoy there new school find happiness and to watch them love there church. I watched as I pounded on the jambe at church and I watched my little boy raise his hands to the Lord what a joy what a pleasure. He went from not even wanting to be apart of church. and even cry at the thought. to being so happy to just worship the Lord. and all we had for a worship band was a guitar and a last minute drummer. it was so amazing as it was not about the show but about lets let the Lord in and lets then do communion together and then have soup together.

to see so many special needs around to have a young lady come out and sing Jesus loves me to the ear it sounds so horrible but to the heart and the heart of worship it brings tears to your eyes as there is jesus standing there. I would say for a while there I felt lost and was trapped in the desert but now I feel I am standing in the middle of the river. every night there is some one inviting us out to come and join there community and have life and hope.

back in the cold snow generally it was me who did the inviting. I went one month and decided to test who would call who would come I would say not a drop came near my tent. I felt left behind and left out in the snow. for a short time I thought I found a crew a group that was a weekly attend but once again felt left out in the snow. then once again found a rising hope of a gender of my own to hang out and attend but the battle broke out and the ground grew cold like a lonely icicle I was left behind. resolution was my heart. to seek reconsiliation was a hope. but the lions roared at the lions den. and the one friend I had the lions tried to take. Now that friend sits here in the mountains. a young man who has found some friends. every day his cell phone rings of a new friend wanting to spend a little time of fun and music of art and expression his freedom has come.

The church doors open we all run in with excitement to see the family again. I am home I will say I am home and happy again.

2009-02-26T00:42:00.000-08:00

I am living in chilliwack in the house of my dreams and my boys are the happiest I have ever seen them. They are always running around grinning from ear to ear enjoying each day and loving living on a mountain to roam as boys. Me I have never been so happy I wake up early go to bed at a decent time and I have the energy that I had lost years ago. I feel like I have come out of a dark shell. and that I have seen the light for the first time ever. I have had crazy dreams at night woken up the next day and wam the dream actually happens. I feel and hear God in ways that I thought I had lost.

I have a phone pick it up call a friend and wam they have time write now. to hang out it is the life style I missed so much. to walk out see the green grass and I actually welcome the rain.

not saying every day is perfect heck I moved out here and hit a hard time the moment I got out of the truck I had to fly to Texas to do the funeral where my aunt had killed herself in the most brutal way I could ever imagine. made me think wow she really wanted to die and then made me mad as I fight each day to live. why did she have to waist her life. she freaken slit her wrists then put a rope around her neck then slit her neck then hung herself. what the crap here I am waking up taking meds that cause pain in my nose and cause me to have nose bleeds. move across the country to find better medical help and she did that. arg then I had to do the funeral a second funeral in my family where it was a brutel death. so ya I am not just in a honey moon stage being out here I just missed my home. and it was good to come home and be with my friends I have known for 15 years and see my boys smile again. wow so good

What up with brothers attacking one another

2009-01-11T10:25:00.000-08:00

Hey all. i am moving to bc. for my health and my spiritual health. I have some who attack the idea and think I am running away from my marriage. But whom of you are willing to do what it will take for me to stay... As I thought I was reading the word the other day and it really hit me in prov 3 where it talks about trusting the lord and also there is an amazing line that talks about that if us as a neighbor has something that will help our neighbor but are hanging onto it for another day why do that. they need it now they are trusting you. it really hit me. That so many times we are quick to give advice and suggestions but are we willing to walk out in the practical.

I do not think many of us are. it is much easier as a christian to say hey I will pray about that for you. when a brother is in need then to meet the need. now do not get me wrong this is something the Lord has even convicted me on. so no I am not talking from a bitter heart just a heart that is wow we need to wake up.

Listen I know my marriage is a mess. but you do not know the situation. even my own husband blesses my move. he is willing to even help me move out there. which is amazing. this move has brought amazing communication between us. and well if I stay here I will not be well for long. my health is not doing well and there is an issue with my meds not working properly been for a while but it is getting worse. I have not enough work out here. to provide for my family. and in bc I have been offered an amazing job. the doors have opened for me in ways I can not imagine. when for my last job I have there is no steady work after this month. which is not good. for me.

anyway hope this helps a little to explain I am not running away from my husband. it is actualy bringing us closer. hope that helps

Leanne

Forever in your arms

2009-01-03T00:40:00.000-08:00

Forever I will run

Run into your arms

be held tight by your mighty strength

I know with you I will always find refuge

I know with you I can trust your words

I know with you I can find inner peace.

I know with you I will be safe and not be judged.

I know with you I always have a friend.

I know with you I will always have a daddy

I know with you I will always have a husband.

I know with you I will always have the trust I need to be safe

How can I not because you are JESUS

\life in a nut shell

2008-11-17T16:11:00.000-08:00

I have some things us christians need to think about. I have been very judged lately and it sucks. I got a letter in the mail from someone who refused to put there name on it or even a correct address they put a made up address. Funny something God showed me was first he actually showed me who wrote the letter. I find it funny hmm I think it showed the person that I hear from Jesus.

The letter was attacking me for being a pastor and having tattoos and having piercings. and that I am allowing the goths think it is ok to be goth and not find change.

Far from the truth. you see the truth of the matter is you need to know there is nothing wrong with being goth punk misfit emo. it is about the heart. and our relationship with christ. 1 we have alot to learn from the goth community they are quite a professonal group of people in the community of saskatoon lawyers nurses and ect... And one of the leaders of the goth community well he has donated money every month to help a orphan in africa. he drives the elderly around to get stuff they need. and he has taken my boys out and had a guys night to help them through this tough time. I know one thing about being a goth and christian goth this is the belief that you die to your self so you can find true life. and as a christian goth it is to be undead to be fully in life in Jesus to die to self each day to die to pride our own ambishions but to fully allow christ to enter in. Paul is an example to christian goth community of someone who did that. and number one jesus is.

I was judged in this letter for being with sinners and loving them instead of pointing out there sin. crap people that is another thing why the heck are we so busy looking for the faults in people and who are you to think you can do that. We suck at it we accuse and we blame and we belittle in our attempts see how Jesus talked with his disciples it was not you did this you did this you are this. it was hey examin your hearts. walk on the water he allowed them to open there eyes and see that even they fail and make mistakes but he always encouraged them to walk on. I think of peter Jesus said to peter that he would be his church. then peter was telling jesus how he would never betray him and such and then jesus just let it be known you will denie me 3 times did not attack peter or nothing just informed him. peter then did that. then when \jesus returned he walked and talked with jesus and jesus encouraged him to not give up and to not be ashamed. now that is how we confront.

Church we judge before we even seek the heart and Jesus taught us to seek the heart before we judge he with out sin cast the first stone. hmm something to think about. anyway \i have also one thing to say who are we to say because of crap like your marriage falling apart or what ever that sorry even though you are doing everything you can to make it work you are not alloud to walk out in the call the \lord has for you. hmm \i think we should look in the mirror. we have our own stuff now do understand I am on subadical but it is not because I think I can not be in ministry because of my marriage because I am on my face to jesus and my heart is to grow and face my crap. It is because I want to spend more time with my boys to be a good mom to them in this time of pain and to hope the rest will come together. anyway those are my thoughts love you all blessings and be encouraged
Leanne
stop looking at others stuff when you have your own to do
and sorry people for the times \i have done that as I know \i have

Judge what the crap

2008-11-16T02:06:00.000-08:00

Tired of those talking tired of those judging.

david murdered did God take him out.

Peter denied Jesus three times did Jesus take him out nope built his church on him.

Paul was a murderer and Once again he was raised up.

Wake up christians it is the broken He uses not the together. It when we think we have it all that we will need to be taken down a few notches. it is us the broken who admit it and know it and seek to be better each day that Jesus says come here and those that are just as lost and fallow see them in his arms and go after Jesus at the same time. so wake up folks brokeness is what Jesus wants not together ness and us christians have truly got to stop being freaken farriseas

been a while

2008-10-29T17:24:00.000-07:00

Been a while since I have written but things have been ok just got back from bc. I loved being in BC. it was so good to see all my old long time friends and catch up it was also good to become apart of the cma it is a association for pastors it rocks. all my buds are in it also so it is like being apart of one big family. god is good

as for everything else same old same old. been tired lately working alot and taking care of my boys not much of a life other than that.

Leanne

wahoo I am alive

2008-10-09T05:35:00.000-07:00

Boy wow what a couple of crazy days. Spent the last couple of days in the hospital and it was crazy. I had kidney stones again and well because of the pain I ended up having massive low blood pressure which put me into cardiac arrest. I am glad to be alive and have alot to be thankfull about thanks Jesus you rock

holy crap I can not believe I did it

2008-10-01T00:15:00.000-07:00

Today was a day that was pretty good. I actually had an awesome job interview got more hours with my old job which is good. Was going to hand in my two week notice with my other job. but decided after being disrespected and yelled at that enough was enough. I had tried to talk with this job for some time as the original agreement of why I even took the job in the first place was not respected. So after being yelled at for something I did not do. and accused of thinking something when I was not I even said excuse me but that is an assumption. and I have not been asked if that is what I am even thinking. they continued to raise there voice in front of the kids I was working with so I kindly said alright I am sorry but I am done. and got my stuff and respectfully walked out. I laid out a boundry last time I was at work and it was walked over again. so I made my discision and walked out. the crazy thing is I went back to hand in my stuff and I wa friendly and kind. and they were kind in return even said I can get my check tomorrow. wow I could not believe that. I will tell you something I have learned lately if you do not disrespect people and you do not give them anyreason to treat you like crap and still keep your foot down. with out insulting or anything well then you do not feel guilty.

Always keep comb and respectful but still have your boundries and watch what happens. all last week I was treated like crap and sworn at called awefull names and all I did was tell them to please not talk to me like that. I respectfully said if you do not stop I will have to hang up the phone I made sure I always had a witness in case I needed someone to tell me I was crossing the line. I have taken alot of counselling courses and have learned how to be strong but still be respectfull I am really thinking I am going for my degree.

blessings

an interesting spin

2008-09-18T22:44:00.000-07:00

Well life has been interesting at the least. I have been crazy busy working and spending time with my boys. I love my boys so so much it is awesome to be with them. I am so glad I have them. I have a new girl moving into my house. yahoo. now I have the morgage payment that is so so so good. yahoo. and have been so worried about that. but now I do not have to worry as God has it all under control. And my band is being offered a possible signing with a big music company. so that is pretty crazy news. It seems weird these days I find that when crappy days happen then all of a sudden crazy awesome things happen. I guess God is trying to keep the blessings still coming also. I love Jesus he rocks my world always looks out for the best in us.

keep it real you guys

Finding joy in my friends

2008-09-14T21:20:00.000-07:00

I have to say I am very blessed. I have been learning who my friends. are and I have amazing friends. I love the friends I have they are good and there and I am there for them. I love the friends I have that except me for me and I am there for them. I love friends have you figured that out yet. There is nothing more amazing then a group of people who love each other for who they are and except you for who you are. I am thankfull for those who don't just walk away because they can't except the strugles. I love the friends. that are willing to take you for the good and bad as we are not perfect. and I have those kinds of friends and I am that to them. We are always there for each other

a Day at the hospital

2008-09-07T22:22:00.000-07:00

Hey well today I spent a day at the hospital. My son went in for surgery on friday. Last night he was in pain all night and was unable to eat or drink. So I spent the day at the hospital and he had to have morphene and also be put on the iv for dehydration. He is home now and doing alot better. I tell you it is so tough being a single mom I don't know what I would do with out good friends. I like to say my dearest friends these days are kelvin and judy wow they mean so much to me. And my new friends Shannon and Olga they are so there for me. We have them on our board for God rock. I am on subadical these days and it is good. Jeff is able to step up to the plate. He is so amazing also what a good friend. He is there for me and my boys. He has been a good example to my boys as a good man. thanks Jesus for good friends

Leanne

Its in the hard times you realize who your friends are

2008-09-05T21:10:00.000-07:00

It is in the hard times when you find who the friends are. Things have been hard;. Today I spent the day in the hospital with my son. he is so brave. it is so hard being a single parent. I realize who my heros are. I am also so thankful. for such an amazing pastors. who walk with me and even come to the hospital to be with my son. How they see the pain in our eyes and comfort us. how God is sitting beside me even in the worst time in my life. I have found who my real friends are they are the ones who call stop buy and see how things are. Who are not afraid of seeing me in pain. and even just giving a place of comfort. I find it amazing how there is peace in the midst of the storm. I also find it troubling how I have been having to see things in my eyes I never thought I could come to. I realize something interesting this week. Do you know it is almost impossible to come to forgiveness untill you can actually admit the pain someone has caused you or even how much you hate what they have done to you. When you see the injustice and say that is such bull shit what they have done. ya I said it bullshit. And it does not take away the relationship I have with Jesus. It does not steel away the love he has for me. actually it makes me closer as I am being reel and honest. I am mad at the injustice in me and my kids lives. it is wrong and it sucks. But it is making me a better person. I am being honest people hope you can take it

The call

2008-09-01T01:07:00.000-07:00

The phone rings

But I hear no voice.

The phone rings but I see no face.

the phone rings but no on is home.

Lost you are behind a cloud

Lost you are like the sun behind a storm.

will you find your way out

from behind you mental grave. will you find your way out from beneath

your old man. The little child cries to come out

Your little boy needs the son

Where is the support

2008-08-30T09:10:00.000-07:00

Where are my friends

where is the support you know but no calls.

Em i all alone oh but wait

I hear the phone friends from afar who are to far to hug you

but at least it is a ear.

Where are the ones that are near two busy in there lives to take a check.

I ponder and wonder what the best thing would be to do but I want to do something soon

Leanne

No ware to go

2008-08-24T23:38:00.000-07:00

Waking up in the morning feeling as empty as a stone

The heart feel heavy like a anchor in the sand

Wondering if love will ever fill this void.

Is one to be un happy until death do us part.

What is a vow when there is death on the end.

What is love when no one loves back.

Lost and out of control no where to turn.

brocken of shatterd glass why wont it last

I seek for your love and weight for so long.

an aniversary past and you did nothing to return

a birthday past and I was forgotten

how much more can this heart take before it stops beating all together

How much em I suppose to take due to being a believer.

Why is that the only stop sign I have nothing else tells me to wait nothing else keeps me waiting is this truly the prison I must be in till death do us part.

The home of hope

2008-08-18T22:26:00.000-07:00

Ha we got our acreage. so cool so the house of hope will open in nov. we need lots of prayer. and we need to make sure the finances come together. please pray all

Thanks

crazy things

2008-08-14T01:46:00.001-07:00

I guess I had more to say. Well ok so I was talking on the phone with one of my good friends that I have in saskatoon. It is crazy I have been living here three years and only this year have I found true friends. Friends who just enjoy being. it is amazing. sometimes it is hard being a pastor as sometimes people get intimidated by you or assume because you are a christian that you dont enjoy just having fun. Or they are worried you are judging them. gosh that is so not me. I love to just be have fun sit in the back yard watching the kids having a great time on the tramp. riding the dirt bike racing around going fishing. going out to the pub watching sweet bands. enjoying getting a tattoo. or just having a great old time

Looking for land

2008-08-14T01:32:00.000-07:00

Well we are looking for land so we can open up the safe home. We are in need of land with a home or land to build a home on. If anyone knows of anything close to the city that would be amazing. The kids need to be somewhere safe. We already have one guy living in our home and the other is in teen challenge and will be out in a year. then he will be with us again. we feel called to open up a farm house for teens in trouble. we want to have horses and have a self sustaining farm.

Been a while

2008-08-13T01:14:00.000-07:00

Well. What is new well lots of things are new these days. We are trying to find land as we want to open a safe home for kids in need. I also started my new job. So that is good. Been hard financially lately as I was out of work for a bit. but now that I am back it is time to catch up on the bills grr bills
Leanne

A day with girls

2008-08-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

Man I have been enjoying the girl time here. Me and amanda have the house to ourselfs and it has been a blast. we watched movies all day and vedged. And tomorrow We go to church then I have a job interview with social services working with teens. And then swimming I think is in order. Hope all are well

I always forget

2008-08-02T00:32:00.000-07:00

Ok Ok another post finally. well what is new on the hall front well we just had a family vacation and it rocked. the boys love fishing now. and I caught 17 fish nat caught 6 and Isaiah caught 3 and curt did not catch one. so I am not sure he likes fishing but the boys on the other hand love it. myself I just love it very much always have. it brought back memories when I went fishing I can not wait to go again. things on the other hand have been going well. my health has been acting up though. so that has been quite painfull as it has attacked my muscles and joints and skin so not so fun on that hand. but eh not as bad as it has been in the past.
Leanne

life has taken a twist

2008-07-05T23:37:00.000-07:00

Hey all sorry have not written in a bit my life has been very strange lately I dont know what to say. Just think of everything being the opposite some things are well and others are well unexpected. say the least I know I am being vag I have to be at this moment but pray for my family please

Leanne

a day of crazy

2008-06-02T23:20:00.000-07:00

Today I was fired I lost my job for being a christian wow. what else can I say except I am excited for the future to see what the Lord has in stalled for the future I actually em at peace

Leanne

holy crap been a while

2008-05-16T23:12:00.000-07:00

Hey all sorry been a while since I have written

Well I have a new job I love it. I am working in an inviroment that is meant for me. I am a support worker for kids leaving the gang life and just a hard life period. I love my kids that I have they are amazing and are my personal heros. they have over come so so much. I see Jesus in there eyes every day. to think that some times society has written them off. These kids have so much to teach us or shall I say youth have so so much to teach us. I learn so much from them every day. my heart is so soft for them.

So that is what is new for me. pretty much that oh and I have a nice hot new red car with a freaken system to make my head explode feeling the youth again lol

Walking forward

2008-04-27T03:27:00.000-07:00

Well I have learned so many new things lately. One thing for sure is if you are upfront honest. You will have nothing bighting you in the end. If you always show the highest integrity it cant bite you on the way out. Respect those the Lord as put in your life to respect and always show honor to those that God has called you to honor.
oh and number one put love in front of all things and all thins will come together.

As for my new job. I love it I changed jobs as I got another job offer that happend to be my dream job. Working with people leaving the gang life. doing counselling and support I so love it
so if I can say one thing love the Lord your God with all your heart soal and mind and love your neighbor as yourself
L

ah a cold

2008-04-22T11:02:00.000-07:00

Have a nasty cold grrr. oh well as for the rest of life for me is going amazing. God has been shifting alot of things in our lives. and well the enemy is doing everything to rip it apart. well screw you that aint going to happen. God made me a winner not a looser so I will fight the good fight.

I have been told before my life is short. but I can say my life is forever. I have nothing to fear I have Jesus on my side.

So today I go to a inteview for a job offer that well is my dream job. I just want to make sure I do the write thing as the job I have now is pretty special also. God give me wisdome to know what to do. well hope you all have a great day
Leanne

A new beginning

2008-04-20T23:50:00.000-07:00

Well I know I shut this down. But I will tell you I have felt it is time to start it up again. To be able to have a plac to express my heart passions and where I am at.

This is where I am at these days I am working full time with High risk adults and you want to know something We all have something we can learn from my clients on true forgiveness and love. I saw someone hit and then share the expression of there anger and yet then hug and say I love you so much.

I have never been so loved by such special people before. I get at least five hugs before I can even get into the building. It is amazing I think I should be paying them instead of me being paid
well that is the newest here blessings
Leanne Hall